NATURE SUCKS part 1

I hate the fire ants and the striped ants and the spiders on the walls. 

I hate the stickers  and the chicken poop and the dirt under my nails and the sleep in my eyes that crawls to my sinuses. I hate the cold water showers and that anything I want is a 45-minute drive. 

The guineas that bark and the geese that hiss. HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. 

And how my clothes always reek of sweat.

I don't really hate nature.  I love my minks and organic French face creams.

I'm in the Twilight Zone of farmtown and I don't know which way is right or left. 

see part 2 here (part 2 went up before part 1)